Chuck vs The Cost Of Love
by ThereIsAnother
Summary: Takes place at the end of vs. Gobbler.  What happens when Chuck is finally fed up with being hurt all the time because of "Love".  He finally takes matters into his own hands.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I am currently working on my sequel to vs. The Leather Clad Goddess with a huge help from Gladius. He is whipping me into shape but hopefully I will have something soon.**

**After watching vs. Gobbler, I just got so pissed. It was a great episode but once again, Chuck bends over and gets it right smack in the rear. I mean how many times does this guy have to suffer because of Love. Well this story will be about his struggle.**

**I warn you, this will be very angsty (NEVER PLI AGNST THOUGH). I just really have to vent and this story will be my brief reprieve. Hopefully it will be done before the next episode (unfortunately no time to beta) as I am sure everything will be fixed. Until then, this is my therapy and I hope you enjoy it.**

**This takes place at the end of vs. Gobbler and I don't own Chuck.**

**A/N: And yes I know unless Chuck is the fastest typer in the world, the message is to long. I took some creative licensing on that one. Sorry.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 1 - What is Love  
**

Chuck just stared as Alex poured her heart out to her dad. He heard her say that she loved him but of course Casey could not hear and would not respond. Chuck sat in the hospital room staring at his unconscious partner, his best friend in life Morgan, and the broken daughter that the love of his life had caused more pain to. All because of love.

It had been a little over three hours since he witnessed the extent of the "Love" Sarah had for him. As he finally came to on the cold floor of the Trident building, alone of course, left alone to his own fate, another thought had hit him. How were his mother and girlfriend so confident that the blow to his head couldn't have been worse, maybe even fatal? Were they doctors, were they such experts at killing that they were confident that the blow to his head would not be fatal, or cause severe damage? That's love for you though, willing to do anything to keep you safe. The bile in his mouth made him want to throw up.

His thoughts continued to reflect back as to what happened at the Trident building. He remembers after the dizziness had passed, he ran down to find his broken partner crumpled on the grassy area near the Trident building. Here lay a great hero, a man who served his country with honor, a man who gave up everything for the greater good, and there he lay alone and left to die. But there again, love. He knew Casey loved him even though the big oaf would never admit it. And he wasn't that naïve to realize that Casey and Sarah had planned this whole fight scene. So Casey was willing to sacrifice himself for love. It still shocked him seeing it happen, but he knew Sarah would never purposefully hurt Casey… or would she? What if Casey inadvertently threatened Chuck's life or hurt him somehow? Would Sarah's love for him drive her over the edge to kill her own partner? To that extent, was anyone safe when Sarah thought her boyfriend was not? Just ask the people of Thailand. Love…

That one word Chuck thought. That one word could cause so much happiness to so many people. It is what people lived for, the opportunity to love. The bile came back at what love had done to him.

He thought back to when his mom left them. She loved them so much that she was willing to give up her own life just to protect them. She was willing to sacrifice everything because she loved them.

Then his Dad, he loved them so much he was willing to leave them to keep them safe. Then when Chuck needed him the most, he loved him so much that he sacrificed himself first for that idiot Roark. Then once again he sacrificed himself to help Chuck get back at the Ring. All for love.

Then there was Jill. She loved him enough to keep away from him in college so that Fulcrum would not get him. Then when she came back into his life, she was willing to throw everything away because she loved him. Her life was ruined because she loved Chuck enough to help him find his dad.

And Bryce. That self righteous jerk loved him so much he gave up his friendship, his woman, his career, and then of course his life. All because he loved Chuck. Chuck remembered how Bryce was so willing to turn himself in as the Intersect just to keep Chuck and Ellie safe. Bryce knew what they would do to him but he didn't even think twice about it.

Then of course his biggest love of all, Sarah. Even from the beginning she would sacrifice everything for him. They had barely got to know each other and she was going to shoot another agent just for the chance to say goodbye. Then Prague, she was willing to give up everything she worked so hard for in her life just to run away with him. And of course recently when he was kidnapped by the Belgium. Oh no, there was never a doubt of how much Sarah loved him. There might have been some self doubt in the beginning, but after that incident, there would never be a doubt. And so here we are. My future wife is off trying to destroy the organization that had been haunting him and then to bring his mom back.

Sarah told him before she was taken away in chains that she was not coming back without his mom. Then after the gobbler was captured, the comment about it could take a while before the mission was complete. Chuck just shook his head, all for love. So the woman that loves him the most in the world and the one he loves the most, is willing to do "whatever it takes" to protect him and bring his mom back. He knows Sarah is a smart woman, but does she even realize how moronic all this is.

What good is that kind of love if there is no one to share it with? Does it even dawn on her what he is going through? Because of her love, he is now sitting in a hospital room praying that his friend lives. Because of her love, he has to lay alone in their bed, wondering if she is alone in hers. After all, "whatever it takes". "I did it to protect you." These lines of bull crap were just about all Chuck could take. The love of his life loved him so much that she would give up the chance to be with him. How is love even worth it?

From his parents to his girlfriend, are they really that stupid to tag their stupidity all in the name of love. The hurt that they have caused because of love, outweighs any hurt that could have come from them being there. Why can't these idiots figure this out? There were only two people in his life that knew how to truly love and what it means. Ellie and Morgan. Ellie could have just as well said "Well it would be better for Chuck if he was adopted or cared for by real parents. It would be best." But no, she never left him. She cared for him more then anyone in his life.

Chuck suddenly paused as a realization hit him. Is it possible for someone to love you so much but not care about you? Sarah loves him, and she has protected him, but does she really care about him. She could say she is doing this because she cares but the irony in that is ridiculous. If she cared about him, then she would be with him. If his mom cared about him, then she would have stayed. No it was all a ruse. They loved but they didn't really care. They could convince themselves they cared, but caring is what Ellie did. It is what Morgan has done throughout their lives. He finally had enough. No more.

He looked at his phone as he realized what he had to do. He typed the message that he knew would never make it to Sarah. He was positive she was using some kind of stupid reasoning about distancing herself so she could do her job because she loved him. Would it even dawn on her the damage that was being done by her current actions? Would she even weigh the greater good over what she was doing to him now? No, probably not, after all the two women that had left him were now together. His mom was not exactly the one he wanted giving advice to Sarah. He began typing:

**Sarah,**

**I love you but I can not go on like this. Be safe and hopefully one day you will find me and bring me back. **

**You are not going to like what I am about to do, but hey, I love you so it makes it all better right. Anything for love, know matter what it takes. My mom and you taught me that.**

**Sorry about the proposal. I guess it worked out for you that it did not happen. **

**I love you and hopefully in twenty years, or how ever long you will be undercover, we can finally meet up and say hi or something. But hey, that's love right. Thanks for loving so much to leave me all alone. Take care and see you in twenty years. **

**P.S. Say hi to my mom. It was great having parents that loved me so much. It helped me get through those lonely years.**

**Formerly Chuck Bartowski.**

He initiated the link and sent the message.

Alex had just left the room with Morgan in tow. It was a good thing as he stood and walked over to Casey.

"Hey Partner. I can't tell you how much you have meant to me. You have taught me so much. But now I have to leave. I have to bring my inner Casey out. Do me a favor, when this is all over…" Chuck started to cry. This would be the last tears for a long time. "When this is all over, come back and save me okay? Love you big guy." Chuck bent down and kissed his forehead. His last humorous thought was what would happen if Casey woke up that exact minute.

Chuck turned to leave, this was it. There was no going back. He knew he needed to head to Castle first but unfortunately he had left his Buy More key card at home. He walked over to the closet and opened it to see if Casey's card was there. He was rummaging through his clothes when he found the card. He decided to be nice and hang Casey's clothes back up and that is when he noticed a strange device in Casey's shirt. "What is this?" Chuck thought as he looked at it closely. It was definitely electronic and looked almost like some kind of storage device. Well he was heading to castle anyway, he had to pick up some gear, get his dad's computer and initiate the newest upgrade, and then make the dreaded call to Beckman. Might as well take this and see what I can find.

Chuck headed out the door, pausing just a bit as he turned to Casey one last time. All for love he thought as he stared at the crumpled form of his partner. Not anymore, and then he was gone.

**{* * *}**

Sarah was on the plane, she was really freaking out right now. She could not get the look of pain and hurt in Chuck's eyes out of her head. She knew he would figure it out soon enough but that didn't help how she was feeling now. She thought it would be so easy to go back to her old self. She thought she could do this but it was too much. Chuck was like a virus and he had completely infected her. He had destroyed every shred of her former self. All that was left was the real girl, the real her. But she had to do this somehow.

Distance. That is what Chuck's mom had said. She was so grateful that Mary and she had gotten really close lately. She knew the future would be so much better if her relationship with her future Mother in law could be strong. She still could not get her mind off of Chuck. The hurt when she told him the mission could last a lot longer, the hurt in his eyes when he witnessed what she did to Casey. If she did not pull it together soon, Volkhoff would see right through her and then everything would be for nothing.

She so badly wanted to get this over with so that she could get back home and be Chuck's wife. She even thought long and hard about something else that four months ago would have scared her to death. The past couple weeks had caused her to do a lot of thinking. She had been alone so much that her mind would only concentrate on Chuck and their future.

She smiled slightly; making sure Volkhoff was not around. She remembered awhile ago, lying in bed when Chuck had mentioned about them being next. She remembered how upset she was and how Heather Chandler had just made it even more apparent. Chuck of course was such a sweetheart, saying he was barely on solid foods himself. But after Thailand, after almost loosing him, she couldn't help but think of starting a family with him. She instinctively reached towards her stomach. Someday, she wanted to feel the life that Chuck and she would create. Before it was just never an option, now, it was all she thought about. Giving Chuck a real family. That was why she was doing this now. She had to destroy the organization that could eventually take so much from them. Once their future was cleared, then they could start their family.

Pull it together Sarah, now is not the time to be thinking about a family. She had a job to do. But now her goal was so much clearer. It would give her the resolve to know what it is worth fighting for. Her thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of her secure satellite phone.

She so badly wanted to talk to Chuck, tell him all about the family she wants to raise with him. Tell him that as soon as this is over, they are heading to Vegas and getting married no matter what. Sure they could have a nice reception later and invite all their friends, maybe even redo their vows, but she would not wait a minute longer when she was free to marry the man who meant everything to her. She sighed as she knew that would have to wait. First she had to bring down this organization and do it as quick as humanly possible. She could not be away from Chuck that much longer. Distance would help the here and now, but screw it if this was going to take much longer. She would just have Casey bring in a nuke and blow Volkhoff to hell. Forget about the network. If it went on longer, that is what she would do, but for now, there was still a chance. And for now, she would have to have distance. So she refused the call. It was the hardest thing she had done and she wanted to breakdown right there. She stared out the window, trying everything not to loose it. Then a vivid image of a tiny brown hair little boy with sapphire eyes popped into her head. Chuck Jr. she thought, and then the tears were held off.

Not much longer my love, not much longer.

**{* * *}**

Chuck was back at Castle and already had the electronic device he found on Casey hooked up to his dad's laptop. He initiated some analysis software and before he knew it, the contents of the device was plastered across his screen. Chuck was floored. It was out of pure instinct that he happened to use the Intersect software to back up the information. It was a good thing because once the contents was analyzed, the device short circuited.

"Hydra" Chuck said out loud. This was it; this was how he would do it. Chuck continued to program the Intersect Upgrade. He had already hacked into the Castle servers to get all the current information from all Government agencies. He had also added some extra programming. He never thought he would ever use the memory software, but for what lay ahead, it was time to initiate human testing. With the upgrade, the marker would be set.

Once the Hydra information was linked up with the Intersect software and once the memory software was embedded, it was time for the upgrade. Chuck made sure to put some pillows behind him and then he hit the upload button.

**. . .**

When he finally came to, other then a really bad headache, he knew that the upgrade had worked. He actually felt so much better. He then went to the medical facility and used the Intersect to unlock the code for the hidden drug cabinet. He found what he was looking for, Ardenal. There were a few bottles left and he grabbed them all. Those would definitely be needed. Emotion and feeling could no longer interfere with what he had to do.

He then went to his private office and once again unlocked a hidden safe. There was his dad's wrist computer with some recent enhancements of his own. Now there was only one thing left, weapons.

He went to the armory and loaded up on the tranc guns and enough twilight darts to put the world to sleep. Then he grabbed the hand gun with the silencer. It felt weird in his hands but what he had to do, he knew he better get used to the feeling of a real gun in his hands.

Now it was time to conference in with Beckman.

**{* * *}**

"Chuck, are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes ma'am, this is the only way."

Beckman hesitated as this would be the biggest decision of her career. The balance of life rested in this decision but if Chuck thought it was the only way, then no matter how ridiculous it was, she would agree. She had put on quite the hard ass act since Chuck had become an agent, but after the success with the Ring take down, the President had made it very clear that whatever Chuck needed, he was given. She had gained so much respect for Chuck after the Ring incident that she could not deny him now.

"Very well Chuck. Make it happen."

"General Beckman, one more thing. Chuck Bartowski is no more. That pathetic weakling died in the jungles of Thailand. Agent Carmichael is no more, he was too much of a failure. From now on, it is Agent Black."

"If that is your wish? But I have to ask Chuc… Agent Black. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"It's what I have to do. See you in a year General." Then Chuck was gone, heading to the one place he never thought he would go.

**{* * *}**

Chuck knew he could not do this on his own. He knew he could not ask Morgan to help because where he was going; there was no way he wanted his friends or family to come along. He only requested two people. One would be technical lead, someone who would not mind getting their hands dirty but someone who was an expert on computers. Beckman was hesitant at first, but finally listened to reason.

Lazlo was to meet up with him after he picked up the third member of their team. Chuck paused as he stood outside the secured room. Chuck knew that he was heading into the depths of hell and he needed someone that knew the way. He needed someone that would not be held back by emotions or caring for others. He needed a tour guide through hell and their was only one man who could do that.

Chuck nodded to the guard and the guard unlocked the door. Chuck slowly walked in as he saw the figure sitting on the side of his bed, head down, his long black strangely hair blocking any sign of his face. Chuck knew this was it, this was the turning point. Once this was done it was over and there was no going back.

He momentarily paused, thinking about all those that he loved, especially Sarah. He briefly contemplated just going back home, forgetting the whole thing, and just eating cheese balls, watching the View, and wallowing in his misery. But that was the old Chuck and Chuck Bartowski was no more. Agent Black was all that was left and he had a job to do. This was it. This was the final straw, no going back now as he slowly walked into the room.

He saw the man on the bed tense as he entered. Okay, here goes nothing he thought. "Been a while hasn't it?"

No response but he could see the chained hands clenching and unclenching.

"I have a job for you. I think it is something you might like."

The man turned his head slowly to look at him. The long scraggily hair still obstructing a majority of his face, but Chuck saw the eyes. He knew the look in those eyes would be his pretty soon.

"Chuck" was all the man said through his scratchy voice. The venom in the voice was evident.

"Nice to see you too Shaw."

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**A/N: This is not the end. This will be a multi chapter story.**


	2. Chapter 2  Journey Through Hell

**A/N: Let me make one thing clear. This is not a Sarah bashing session. Jeez has anyone read my other stories or my profile. Charah will always be it for me. Does that always mean it will be a nice fresh garden of roses, of course not. My entire issue is the very ending, why distance now? Why leave him lying there? She does not know if Casey made it, why would she not want to know? Its just a phone call that she had been making numerous times in the two weeks before. That is what my main gripe was about the episode. So yes, I am pissed at her actions but I am not and will not ever bash my beloved Sarah. Just calm down.**

**Another thing, we know the Casey thing was planned and we see how she acts, but Chuck does not know. Why would you expect him to be okay with it?**

**Please, please, please do not stop watching Chuck. The episode may have caused some emotions but we know it will all work out. I have faith. If I knew that because of something I wrote, someone stopped watching Chuck, well I would feel horrible. PLEASE, do not stop watching Chuck. I felt so bad I almost watched Mask again.**

**Okay, off the soap box. For those that don't like Shaw, guess what, I hate him even more. Hopefully you will understand why he was chosen if you couldn't figure it out from the first chapter. This one should shed a little more light.**

**Also something I did not want to sweep under the rug is Casey's role in this. While the story, as the Show, is mostly centered around Chuck and Sarah, hopefully I will bring a little bit of Casey loving into it.**

**Another thing that has bothered me from the show. Chuck is a genius plain and simple. So why does he only use Karate. What happened to the gadgets he made? Why hasn't he continued to enhance the Intersect? Thus, my introduction to the Intersect Software. He has the source, is there reason to believe he could not enhance it? I mean Ellie did, thus the combining of data like from Hydra into the source of the Intersect to be used for an upgrade. Also I used that idea along with an idea from the movie Paycheck.**

**This takes place at the end of vs. Gobbler and I don't own Chuck or paycheck.**

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**Chapter 2 – The Journey Through Hell**

**{Two Months Later}**

Chuck looked at himself in the mirror. He did not recognize the face looking back at him. The eyes were vacant, the brightness seemingly forever gone. His hair was shoulder length now and jet black. It still tried to make funny animal shapes but the length kept it mostly just unruly. He had a few scars, one above his right eye. That was the result of the first week alone with Daniel Shaw. Their partnership didn't exactly start off on solid ground, but then again, he was only using Shaw for what he needed, they were never going to be BFF's.

Chuck had redesigned the Governor since he did not need his anymore. The new design was specifically for Shaw. The power life of the Governor would deactivate after a day of not getting a response from Chuck. Chuck had linked his vitals, his heart rate, oxygen levels, and blood pressure to a monitoring device secured to the Governor. At any point his vitals did not reflect the proper waking levels, the Governor would deactivate sending a slight electronic pulse through Shaw's body causing the Intersect to over load. There were other safe guards to keep Shaw contained, but those were just after thoughts now. This way, Shaw would be extra motivated to make sure Chuck was kept safe.

Chuck thought back to what it was like in the beginning. The biggest issue in the beginning was just if they could live from the ass kicking they gave each other. Obviously Chuck was much more advanced because his Intersect was far superior, but Chuck knew that for Shaw to be completely on board, he would have to be Shaw's punching bag at least for a while. It seemed to work as after the first week, Shaw had calmed down enough to at least coexist with him and Lazlo. Plus it gave him a week to vent some of his pent up anger at what Shaw had done to his friends and family. Chuck was forgiving, but Shaw was beyond that. His forgiveness would come if at the end of this mission, Shaw's balls weren't ripped off and shoved down his throat.

Lazlo, Chuck thought. What a group of misfits they all were. There were plenty safeguards in place to keep Lazlo and Shaw from doing anything detrimental to him or the Country, but other then that, Chuck had given them free reign to do what they do best. They did not disappoint.

The team had been together for almost two months and already Volkhoff Industries was reeling. It was just a small dent, but it was a dent and they were picking up pace. Lazlo was unbelievable with a computer when given the proper fire power. Together, using the information from Hydra, he and Lazlo had hacked into the accounts of the people Volkhoff had done business with. People like the Costa Graven Government, Terrorist Groups, the scum of the earth. They were able to hack the accounts of these organizations and redirect even more of their money back into Volkhoff's accounts. A few email notifications here and there, and before you knew it, a major crap storm was heading Volkhoff's way from yet another threat. When these organizations would find out that they had been duped, they too would be looking for a piece of Volkhoff. Once the funds were secured and a public paper trail was left for all to see, Lazlo would then transfer the money to charities around the world. Chuck had to smile thinking some charities would be set for life with the generous contributions of Volkhoff Industries. It was a brilliant plan if he did say so himself.

Chuck paused as he thought how vital the Hydra information had been. A bit of anger surfaced as the thought of how that could have been so easily missed. This is what frustrated him even more about Agent Walker. I mean seriously, could she have not sent one message like _**"Casey right pocket"**_. Sure it was to much for her to let him know she couldn't talk to him anymore, obviously that just was to hard I guess, but really? The Hydra information. Just the most important piece of information that could be used to bring down Volkhoff and not one word. Not one message. "Argh." Chuck was so frustrated as he rubbed his face.

It took him a moment to calm back down and gather himself.

As usual, the only way to calm back down was of course to think of his sister and her family. Thanks to the communication systems he and Lazlo had set up, he had been able to closely monitor his friends and family. This allowed him to make sure they were all secured and doing well. Ellie had her baby already but he did not and would not see it until this was over, if it ever was. He had planned a year. That was the marker he had used in the memory software and he hoped that it would be over by then. Of course they would have to pick up the pace to meet that date, but after all, that's what this team was made for.

Beckman also kept her promise at providing the utmost security for Ellie, Devon, and the baby. They were allowed to go on with their every day lives but the security was that of the President. It was one of the stipulations for Chuck's plan to work.

Casey was doing much better. He, Alex, and Morgan were doing a huge part on their own in bringing down the Volkhoff Industries. After what happened with Casey, Alex pleaded with him to bring her aboard. It did not take much convincing on Beckman's part considering her track record and her bloodline. Also the fact that she beat the living crap out of one of Volkhoff's men whom tried to smother Casey with a pillow when he was in the hospital.

So here stood Chuck in a dingy bathroom of a dingy apartment in New York. Chuck's plan was to clear out the United States first then work their way to Russia. So far the plan was working perfectly.

Chuck took the pill that he had been holding in his hands. His hands used to shake but no more. In the first couple weeks, those very hands had shed quite a bit of blood. It was only thanks to the Ardenal that he was able to cope with it. Sure they were scum of the earth and Shaw had handled all of the killing, after all, Shaw was the machine. Chuck thought the Ardenal would help him overcome his reservations about taking a life, you know, turn him into a machine, but it seemed that was not the case. It helped him to reach his objectives, but the taking of another life was just not something Chuck could do yet.

Even so, Chuck knew to be effective and efficient, there could be no prisoners. Well unless the Intersect either one, instructed him that they were low value targets, or two, if the Intersect revealed a high level of information from the targets. In these cases they were handed over to the government. Well except on the rare occasion that the information was too vital. In those instances, the information was extracted at point of contact. Shaw seemed to enjoy this method the most and he was darn good at it. It was just one more path Chuck could not go down even in his hardened state.

Chuck stared at himself just a little longer then reached down inside his shirt. He pulled out the gold chain he wore around his neck with the engagement ring secured to the end. He gave the ring a kiss. Even though he knew that Sarah would never accept this and he was not sure if he would even try again; either way though, he couldn't bring himself to get rid of it. This was another issue that he thought he would have been able to overcome. Originally he had thrown the ring in the garbage can at Castle. He had given up hope at that time. But the next day he realized his mistake and went back and got it. He has wore it ever since. "I love you Sarah." And then Agent Black left the bathroom.

**{* * *}**

Casey was sitting in the modified chair in the bowels of castle. Stupid fall herniated a disk in his lower back among other things. He was recovering nicely but it still killed him to sit or even walk for that matter.

He was alone now. Morgan and Alex had already gathered some very important intel from a Volkhoff cell in New York. He was uploading the intel now to the location Beckman had instructed him to every time they found something. He had a feeling he knew who was getting that information.

Casey looked around to make sure he was alone. He swore if anyone saw him do what he was about to do he would shoot them on site. Casey typed something on the computer and the monitor came to life. He had viewed this particular footage countless times in the past month after he got out of the hospital. No one knew it existed and he was the only one that had viewed it.

The digital signature on the video stated **NSA Operative** **John Casey Hospital Surveillance**, time stamp, two months ago. Casey checked one more time that no one was around and then he hit the play button. He turned up the volume as he zoomed in on the nerd's face.

"_Hey Partner. I can't tell you how much you have meant to me. You have taught me so much. But now I have to leave. I have to bring my inner Casey out. Do me a favor, when this is all over…" _

Casey had to clear his throat as he saw the pain in Bartowski's face.

"_When this is all over, come back and save me okay? Love you big guy." _

Casey just stared at the screen pausing the video as Chuck bent over to kiss his forehead. Casey was never one for emotions. His lady feelings were always held in check. But seeing the face of the best friend he ever had was making it extremely difficult to control.

With determination in his face, he almost willed the video to be real, to have Chuck standing in front of him so that he could see the conviction in his eyes. Gathering as much strength as he could, Casey looked at the monitor and spoke, "I will save you numb nuts. I swear to God I will bring you back. Semper Fidelis! Whoo Ahh!" And then the loan tear fell.

**{* * *"}**

Sarah was pacing back and forth in her room located in Volkhoff's palace. She looked around at how beautiful the room was. She wanted to take a machine gun and destroy everything in it. She felt dirty, cheap, filthy even; living in this room was hell. She hated it. She was almost shot when she refused at first to stay here. But Volkhoff insisted and she had no choice.

Sleep had been close to impossible. She refused to sleep in the bed. Every night she would remove the blankets from the bed and sleep on the floor near the window. The moon is what gave her peace because it was the same moon that her lover had nearly proposed to her over two months ago in France. She could not speak or even think his name anymore. Lover or Boyfriend was what she used because if she spoke his name, she would not be able to go on. Two months and it had been hell. Add to that the fact she felt like she was not getting anywhere. If it wasn't for the increased nervousness of Volkhoff and his top henchman, she probably would have left long ago. Something though was causing them to be on edge. She had to find out what it was.

She looked at the nightstand near the bed. She knew what lay underneath that stand. It was her satellite phone. She had not used it in two months but she so desperately wanted to contact… her boyfriend. Just know he was okay, what would it hurt? But then she realized in her current state that she could not. If she did she would cave and she just could not let that happen.

Just a little while longer Sarah thought as she crawled into the blankets near the window. She rubbed her hand again over the emptiness that was her womb. Her dreams recently had been of a curly blond hair girl with Chocolate brown eyes. Kayla was her name. Kayla and Chuck jr. Sarah smiled thinking of their little family.

Soon sweetie, soon.

**{* * *}**

Mary Bartowski sat at the desk in her office, head buried in her hands. She had told Volkhoff that she had not been feeling well so surveillance would have just made it look like she had a horrible migraine. What it would not show is the horrible pain within her heart.

How could she have been so selfish? She had to admit to herself when she first knew that Sarah was coming aboard to help her, she thought this would be it. She would finally be free of this monster. Her thoughts were so consumed with being free that she did not realize what she was once again doing to Chuck and inadvertently doing to Sarah.

She was so selfish to want to get out that here she was destroying her son and the woman he loved. Did she really think that Sarah could have just swooped in and a couple weeks later they would be at home with Ellie, watching the birth of her granddaughter all the while planning the upcoming wedding? How foolish was she?

Two months and now because of her, Chuck has lost another person he loves. This would have to end soon because she was tired of it. She had to do something, the guilt was too much. She could have lived with it but then she reunited with Chuck and Ellie a few months ago. Feeling that kind of love again was the worst thing that could have happened. But now it was too late. She tasted the family life and she craved more. Nothing would stop her from making sure Sarah was reunited with Chuck. She would die to make sure Sarah got back with Chuck. She owed him at least that.

**{* * *}**

Chuck's team was standing outside Volkhoff Industry's New York Facility.

Chuck looked over to Shaw. "In and out, I will take care of any intel, you do what you do best."

Shaw menacingly glared at Chuck. "You sure you don't want in on some of the fun?"

"As tempting an offer that is, I will pass on this one." Chuck grabbed Shaw's arm. "Remember, low level marks do not die. If you slip again, you go back in the hole. We clear?" There was no mistaking the intensity in Chuck's eyes.

"Why of course Agent Black. Maybe we can invite them to dinner, take them to meet the family." Shaw's words were dripping with sarcasm.

"Just don't screw up again. Let's go."

**{* * *}**

**

* * *

**

"I WANT ANSWERS!" Screamed Volkhoff.

Mary had ran in to see what the fuss was. She nearly tripped over one of V's men who lay dead on the floor, gun shot wound to the head.

"Oh my sweet, sweet Frost. I am so sorry that I yelled. Did I disturb you?" Volkhoff walked over to Frost.

"No Alexi, I just thought something bad happened." Mary was really getting creeped out as Volkhoff was just inches from her.

"Well my darling. It seems that another FREAKING… sorry, another facility, our main branch in New York, has been destroyed. I am a little unnerved by these findings especially since no one lives long enough to report who is doing this."

A strange feeling swept through Mary. "We will find out Alexi, just give it some time."

"Yes my sweet. Time is what I have. By the way my love, have you heard from that strapping boy of yours, Charles?"

Mary froze as she tried to school her expression. "I heard that he is taking the loss of his close friend and the fact you have not let his girlfriend see him, pretty hard."

"Yes, yes. I suppose you are right. Maybe I should let Sarah at least call little Chucky. Would that make you happy my sweet?"

Oh man this guy is losing it by the minute. "That would be lovely Alexi."

"Please inform Sarah that she can talk to Chuck."

With that, Mary left the room. She knew Sarah would be getting back from one of Volkhoff's motivation missions soon so she would hopefully catch her when she returned tonight.

**{* * *}**

Sarah could not believe her situation. A couple nights ago she was talking the big game about how she could not talk to Chuck or she would lose it. But now with the opportunity right in front of her, all her resolve was gone. She was like a little school girl waiting to call her boyfriend. She was almost giddy.

She did not even need to use her satellite phone. Volkhoff would let her use her company cell phone to call Chuck. She was so nervous and she never gets nervous. She paused as coldness consumed her heart. She was nervous once not long ago. That was one of the happiest moments in her life. Well until the CIA screwed it all up.

Her hands shook as she dialed Chuck's cell. She decided she didn't care; she was going to tell him how much she missed him. One good thing about her current undercover assignment was at least Volkhoff knew she was doing this for Chuck. She was so grateful that this was clear from the beginning. She could only imagine what Volkhoff might have expected her to do if not. She wouldn't have done any seduction missions no matter what. That ship sailed long ago and it was the one reason she resorted to the all black outfit. She wanted to be very clear that she was only there to be the Enforcer; she would not allow herself to be treated any other way. Fortunately, it seemed to be working.

_Sorry, but this number is no longer in service._

That's odd Sarah thought. Chuck's phone was his life line. His number was had something to do with Tron so she knows he would never change it. There must be another reason.

She then tried their home number.

_"Hello?"_

Sarah nearly dropped the phone when she realized it was a female voice. So many thoughts instantly ran through her head that she almost started hyperventilating.

_"Hello? Who is this?" _The female voice on the other end asked.

Sarah could not believe what she was hearing. Had Chuck actually gotten over her this quickly?

_"Sarah?"_

Sarah froze. How would this person know it was her?

_"This is Alex, is this Sarah?"_

Sarah felt a wave of relief wash over her but then sadness. She was about to talk to the daughter of the person she almost killed.

"Hey Alex. Is Chuck there?"

More silence.

"Alex, its Sarah, is Chuck there?"

_"One sec Sarah. Let me get Morgan."_

Sarah was starting to feel a tad uncomfortable. Either Chuck was there or not, it was not rocket science.

_"Sar Sar. Hey how you doing? We miss you."_

"Morgan, where is Chuck?"

"Well, funny thing. Uh, well, you see…"

"MORGAN"

"Fine. Chuck hasn't been here for two months. He left and no one has heard from him."

Sarah almost dropped the phone. Her heart started beating loudly in her ears. "What do you mean Morgan? Was he taken, hurt?"

"No, I know for a fact it was nothing like that. He left on his own. The only one that knows where he is is Beckman and she refuses to let us know. She only said he was safe."

What does that mean thought Sarah. Is he in a bunker? No that couldn't be it. He was the best protection for himself. No need to throw him in a bunker. Then what has happened to him? Damn it this was the last thing she needed.

"Morgan Grimes. I swear to God you better make sure he is okay and if he is not. You let me know, do you understand me?"

"Morgan do you understand?"

"Yes Sarah, I will see what I can do."

Then the phone disconnected. Sarah had one hand on her hip and the other near her mouth. She started freaking out.

**{* * *}**

"Good job today Shaw. Nice work in there." Chuck clapped him on the back.

Shaw quickly turned to him. "Chuck, I swear you touch me again and I won't care what the consequences are. I am working with you to stay out of prison and to keep from going mad because of that stupid Intersect in my head. When I stop caring about that, then I will end…"

Shaw never finished as he was ripped from his current position and slammed hard against the wall. Chuck's gun was shoved so far in Shaw's mouth that Shaw would be tasting gun powder for a few days. "Listen Shaw, I have told you before, don't call me Chuck. And as far as your threats, save them. I am no longer scared of you or anything. Do you understand me?"

Shaw did not respond.

"I said do you understand me?"

This time Shaw gave a slight nod.

"Good. Now I am working with you because I need your help. When I give you a freaking compliment then you take it and say thank you. Otherwise I will put a bullet in your head. And you of all people should know that I will do it."

Shaw started smiling.

"Yeah I know. I finally became the Agent you always wanted me to be. Hoorah." Then Chuck let him down and headed to his room.

Lazlo started laughing.

"You got a problem geek?" Shaw had venom in his eyes as he looked towards Lazlo.

"Just laughing thinking he is going to kick your ass so bad when we are through."

"We will see."

Shaw smiled as he headed to his room. It was just a matter of time and then there would be an unfortunate accident. First with that stupid computer geek and then Chuck. No, when Chuck least expects it, he will get his revenge. For now though, he was quite happy with what he was doing. It helped that every face he saw was the face of Chuck, Sarah, and Casey. That definitely made the killing fun. Yeah for now he would wait, enjoy his freedom and his love of death and torture. Who knows, maybe he will eventually be able to kill three birds with one stone. That thought is what kept him warm.

* * *

**A/N: I just wanted to say thanks again for all the reviews. This almost feels like a message board. My goal is to finish this up by episode 13. I hope that does not disappoint as that means the pace has to go a lot quicker then I would like. I also apologize for the grammar and spelling mistakes. As I said I am just trying to get this out as quick as I can before the next episode. I am thinking maybe five or six chapters with an Epilogue. Hopefully you are enjoying my little vent. **


	3. Chapter 3  No Prisoners

**A/N: You know I have to say, no matter what you think about the story; I just love reading the passion about this show. To read people analyzing every single detail about this or that is just awesome. I wonder if the stories about Dancing with the Stars get the same reaction. This is just awesome, I love reading the reviews. Some times I forget they are actually for the story I just wrote. That's Chuck fans. We may not always agree, but darn it we got some passion.**

**Of course everything will be resolved Monday but what do we do in the mean time? We write stories and reviews. Got to pass the time somehow.**

**I have definitely learned that you have to have some thick skin to write on these sites. I think my skin might just be Kevlar quality by now otherwise I wouldn't keep doing this.**

**The great thing is, for everyone that says that they don't like this, someone else says they do like it. For those that hate my other stories, quite a few love it. For those that think I am way off and just ranting, quite a few think I am right. So, I have learned a great lesson from all this, not everyone agrees with me, haha.**

**I have to say though, if going back to the end of Season II, someone would have wrote a story that Chuck dumps Sarah at a train station, becomes a lying cold hearted spy, then to top it all off, Sarah falls in love with a bean pole, and Chuck falls in love with Superman's ex. I would probably rip them in reviews, to never read again their stories. So I do understand the passion, but as in the show, just wait.**

**This takes place at the end of vs. Gobbler and I don't own Chuck.**

* * *

**Chapter 3 - No Prisoners  
**

**{6 Months Later}**

Sarah sat in front of the mirror in her room. As she looked into the eyes of Vokhoff's dark hair enforcer, she wondered how far she had truly fallen. Her hands had taken many lives some innocent, some not so innocent, and some just plain monsters.

Thailand was a trip to Disneyland compared to what she had done in the last three months. She thought back to the reason she had started this in the first place. In trying to provide a future for Chuck and her, was she actually destroying the thing he loved most? His Sarah.

She remembered back on that Christmas day years ago after Chuck had given her that special bracelet. It had broken him to see her kill in his name. To kill for his protection. Now what would he think? She had spilled more blood in the past three months then her entire career with the CIA. The only comfort she had was that she had depleted a vast majority of Volkhoff's men in the process.

She thought of this Agent Black character and his team that had been wreaking havoc across all of Volkhoff industries. The entire North American Division had been destroyed. The Eastern Europe Division and beyond was already starting to crumble. With all this happening, it was very easy for Frost and her to plant suggestions of betrayal in Volkhoff's head. A small comment here, a suggestion there. While this Agent Black was destroying from the west, her and Frost were destroying from the east. She was very aware of Agent Black's conquest, and she was doing all she could to help without being caught. It was just a matter of time now.

She had earned so much loyalty from Volkhoff that he was actually permitting her to spend as much time with Chuck as she wanted. The problem was, Chuck was no where to be found. Morgan had given her bits and pieces of what was going on but it was obvious he did not know. She was very careful where she visited but she had spent some time in Burbank recently trying to find him. She found it odd the level of security detail for Ellie, Devon, and the baby, but she was thankful none the less.

Casey looked to be doing much better but she couldn't talk to him either. She realized the test Volkhoff had her do was not to make sure Casey was dead, but to see if she would obey his command. Volkhoff could care less about Casey as long as Casey didn't pursue them. Luckily there was no indication this was happening even though she knew better. She knew Casey was knee deep in what was going on with Volkhoff Industries and she just wished she could talk to him. She just couldn't put his life in any more danger and if Volkhoff found out they were communicating, it could be very dangerous.

Nothing ever came up about Chuck. No signs, no hints, nothing. She got so desperate that she even enlisted Volkhoff's resources, of course with his approval, to help find him. She quickly realized in Volkhoff's crazy mind, he now thought of her as his daughter. It was like one big freaking family and she hated it. The only good thing was Frost and her were inseparable. They had really become close since her time here.

Six months Sarah thought. Six months since the love of her life planted a kiss with his finger on her cheek. She rubbed the cheek still feeling the warmth from his touch there. It was the last pure and innocent thing she felt in what seemed like forever.

It was getting late and so as was her nightly ritual, she pulled the blankets off and snuggled up next to the window. "I miss you so much Chuck." She was about to close her eyes when for whatever reason her vision fell to the nightstand again.

She had completely forgotten about the satellite phone. Mostly because Volkhoff was so lenient now in her calls, practically begging her to find and be with Chuck. It was creepy how bad Volkhoff wanted her to be happy, but having that freedom, she completely forgot about the phone.

Then she remembered that night six months ago when she declined the message. She wondered what that message from Chuck was. She had forgotten about it but now she could not get it out of her head. She had to know what he said. She quickly got up and walked over to the night stand. She didn't worry about surveillance. Volkhoff had turned off surveillance in her room after he found two guards doing some inappropriate things while watching her. They were disemboweled as a message to anyone who would touch her or look at her even with the slightest desire. She was actually very thankful for that. She reached under the nightstand to pry open the flooring. She then reached down and took out the phone. It had been off for so long she had hoped it kept the battery power.

She sat on the edge of the bed, nervously fiddling with the phone. Should she do it? Would it make a difference now? She put the phone back on the nightstand realizing that it really would not matter what the message said. Too much time had passed. She got up and walked over to where her blankets were nestled together near the window.

She lay down and looked out at the fingernail moon. She tried imaging what Chuck was doing at that exact moment. Her eyes involuntarily wondered back towards the phone on the night stand. No, there is no use now. It's been to long and it will only be worse if she read it now. She tried to concentrate on the moon but it was not use. She had to see what was on the phone.

She got up again and sat at the edge of the bed. She sighed and reached out and grabbed her phone. She powered it on and sure enough, one message waiting to download. She hit receive and waited for the download to be complete. It then asked if she would like to open it. She swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and hit yes.

**Sarah,**

**I love you but I can not go on like this. Be safe and hopefully one day you will find me and bring me back. **

**You are not going to like what I am about to do, but hey, I love you so it makes it all better right. Anything for love, not matter what it takes. My mom and you taught me that.**

**Sorry about the proposal. I guess it worked out for you that it did not happen. **

**I love you and hopefully in twenty years, or how ever long you will be undercover, we can finally meet up and say hi or something. But hey, that's love right. Thanks for loving so much to leave me all alone. Take care and see you in twenty years. **

**P.S. Say hi to my mom. It was great having parents that loved me so much. It helped me get through those lonely years.**

**Formerly Chuck Bartowski.**

**. . .**

Mary was on her way to check on Sarah. They had a rough couple days, Alexi was falling deeper and deeper into a state of madness. He killed now if someone looked at him wrong. The loss of three quarters of his wealth had a lot to do with it. That and the fact his employees were leaving by the truck loads. The legend of Agent Black had everyone scared out of their minds. They now feared him more then they did Alexi himself, and that pissed him off to now end. She smiled thinking that the end was soon approaching.

She stood in front of Sarah's door and knocked.

_{no answer}_

She knocked again. "Sarah it's me, you in there?" This time Mary heard it, Sarah was crying.

She was through the door in a flash, gun raised, looking for the intruder that was causing her daughter so much pain. She scanned left to right, but no one. She walked around the bed and there she saw Sarah sitting on the floor, her back against the bed, head lowered crying uncontrollably.

Realizing the room was secure, she quickly kneeled down next to Sarah. "Sarah, honey. What's wrong?"

Sarah could only shake her head back and forth. She kept repeating "I've lost him. I've lost him."

Mary was trying her damnedest to figure out what had happened when she saw the phone. It was gripped tightly to Sarah chest. She reached over to try and take it from her. Sarah just cried "no" and Mary decided to let go. She gently placed her hand on Sarah's and it seemed to calm her a bit. At least enough to allow her to turn the phone so she could read what was on it.

Mary just sat back against the bed, holding her head in her hands, tears that had been lost forever now pouring down her cheeks. What have I done? Mary thought as she kept banging the back of her head against the bed. "What have I done?"

**{* * *}**

Chuck was perched high atop a sky scrapper located in Tokyo. His team had just got back from a successful mission where they brought down Volkhoff's second biggest facility in the world. Once the location was verified and the collateral damage was lowered to under one percent, Lazlo sent in the Predator Drone to level the building. Chuck had estimated about hundred of Volkhoff's top management were in the building at the time of the bombing. This was the last major target before heading to Russia for the final takedown. Chuck was still amazed that they were able to target a facility with so many of the top brass. He knew Volkhoff Industries was on the run and Volkhoff was a paranoid mess. Why then would so many of his men be at this meeting. He briefly wondered if someone on the inside had helped set this meeting up.

Chuck stared up at the fingernail moon. Inadvertently he started whistling "Somewhere, out there, beneath the pale moon light." He stopped when he realized how inappropriate that was considering he had just been given an order to kill one hundred people. He tried to clear his mind of that fact, so he thought of Sarah. He wondered what she was doing at this exact moment. Was she happy? Was she sad?

He knew she was safe, the legend of the Dark Clad Enforcer was almost as legendary as the man they call Agent Black. The irony actually astounded him. Maybe they were meant to be together even though he knew deep down Sarah would never accept him back. I mean he treated her like a Goddess for three years and the second she thought he killed someone, she was ready to dump him for Satan himself. How could she ever accept the man he was now?

He thought back to the Intersect memory software. Would it work? Was it possible that he could create something that might in the end help save him? Would it be enough or would Sarah leave him the minute she knew what he did? He was so conflicted right now. It was so much easier with the will they won't they routine. Those first two to three years of knowing each other, he always knew where he stood. If it made absolutely no sense and defied reason, well that was just Sarah not loving him. It was so much easier to know that he always rated at the bottom of Sarah's boyfriend totem pole.

But then she had to go off and tell him he was her Chuck. They had their pretend honeymoon and it was the most incredible time of his life. From the first time she told him she loved him, to saving him from the Belgium. He finally knew without a doubt that she loved him; but what about now. Would the old Sarah come back or would she accept him for who he was? He really had no clue and it scared him, but hey, that was the cost of Love.

As he sat there staring a hole in the moon he realized that no matter what happened, he would never be able to love another. Sarah was it, the last hoorah, finito, the end, his Omega. His heart and soul only belonged to her and when she finally decides she does not want it, then it's in the trash for good he thought.

Shaw and he had spent six months together and both were still alive. That had to be a miracle in itself. There was one thing for sure though; there was no one better at being a thoughtless, unfeeling, killing machine then Daniel Shaw. He made Casey and Sarah look like Hansel and Gretel.

Oh he knew Shaw would take him out the second he got a chance. The sad thing was he was fine with that. He no longer cared about his life anymore. He only cared about the life of his family and friends and keeping them safe…

Chuck paused as it felt like realization just smacked him in the face. He was a walking contradiction. Wow, I am a piece of work. Well it will all be over soon, one way or the other. Shaw would either kill him, Volkhoff would kill him, or he would slip and fall getting out of the bath tub and die from head trauma. Either way, he was sure it would all be ending soon.

He was about to reach into his shirt for the one thing that comforted him the most in all the darkness. He paused as he stared at his knuckles. He smiled thinking back to when he had the letters tattooed to his knuckles. It was about three months after he started this journey through hell. Where the ring he wore around his neck would hopefully save his heart, the tattoo on his knuckles would save his soul.

He ran his finger over each letter, W. W. C. D. Then he reached underneath his shirt as he pulled out the ring. As was his nightly ritual, he kissed the ring. Staring up at the moon, he whispered, "I love you Sarah."

**{* * *}**

Casey was pacing back and forth in Castle, he was worried sick and Casey just does not worry. Alex and Morgan were finishing up packing as the whole team was preparing to head to Russia. Casey decided long ago there was no need to give the whole, you're my daughter speech and you need to stay home. In all honesty, Alex was probably the most bad ass of the Team. She could definitely kick the most ass and someday she might even best Walker, I mean Bartowski. Casey grunted, oh hell, might as well start calling her that because I will be damned if moron doesn't follow through with the damn proposal. Casey knew his sub mission was to make sure those two got married, and he never fails a mission.

His thoughts turned back to his daughter and how important she had been in the past few months. He loved his daughter but he knew she had just as much right to be on this mission as anyone. No, it was not his daughter or Morgan that he was worried about, it was Chuck.

Casey had received very detailed reports of what had been happening across the globe. Chuck was a war machine and he and his team were causing destruction everywhere they went. For as strong as they were physically, they might have been even more so technically. He was not sure who was working with Chuck but whoever it was, was a computer genius. They had declared Cyber war on Volkhoff and they were destroying the opposition. Volkhoff was non existent in the Cyber world now. Volkhoff had pulled as much of his electronic transactions as he could. He had closed down numerous Server warehouses because nothing was safe. Chuck's team knew everything about anything involved with Volkhoff and they were taking no prisoners.

Casey smiled as he thought of the strange emails he had been getting since about three months ago. They just so happened to contain vital information that more then once had saved him, Alex, and Morgan. The information also helped them be successful with so many missions, it almost felt like when Team Bartowski first got together years ago. It was always from the same user name and Casey had a feeling he knew who it was. After all, _**stayinthecarmoron**_ was kind of obvious.

The last bit of intel had a hidden meaning that Casey knew to well. It only said:

**Dear Sam,**

**Tell Raffe the view from the window is great.**

**From Russia with love. **

"I am going to keep my promise numb nuts."

**{* * *}**

It had been three hours since Mary walked into the room to find Sarah crying. She had finally allowed Mary to hold her. The two women who loved Chuck Bartowski more then anything on this earth, found comfort in each others arms.

Mary had long ago already considered Sarah her daughter. It definitely helped with convincing Alexi, but this was not an act. She had always hoped that one day Chuck and Sarah would just make it official. Now she was not so sure and it broke her heart. Even so, they had to do something, and they had to do it now.

"Sarah, we both need to figure this out. We have come too far, obviously sacrificed too much to quit now."

Sarah did not speak; she just kept looking down at the phone in her hands.

"I know its hard Sarah. But I want to know something. Will you please answer me?"

Sarah would not respond.

"Do you still love my Son?"

"Yes" was all Sarah said.

"No matter what he has done?"

"Yes"

"Do you still want to marry my son?"

"Its all I have ever wanted."

Mary gave her a hug and then stood up. Looking down at Sarah. "Then you need to get off your ass, use that brain of yours, lets bring this shit hole down and get back to our family. And kick the ass of anyone that gets in our way."

Sarah looked up at her mom. Tears were gone as she built strength from the conviction in her mom's eyes.

"Sarah, Volkhoff has taken everything from us. Its time to take it back. We end this now. We get Chuck back, and then its home for good. Is the best damn spy in the CIA going to help me or not?"

"No prisoners?" Sarah growled.

"No prisoners." Mary replied.

* * *

**A/N: I do have to apologize though to those that may have wanted a longer story. I would have liked to go into more detail about some things, but like I stated in the beginning, this is more of a therapy session for me to get through till Monday. Thus I would like to finish this up by Monday. The down side to that is I can't spend as much time as I would like going into better development of the characters or plot lines. I do apologize for that.**


	4. Chapter 4 Love you Too

**A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this Chapter. Thanks again for all the reviews and pm's. Three more days and it will be over.**

**This takes place at the end of vs. Gobbler and I don't own Chuck.**

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Love You Too  
**

**{8 Months Later}**

"Please Father, let me hunt down this scumbag and get rid of him for you." Sarah had to keep the bile from spilling from her throat at the use of the word father. "Mother and I can do what we do best, and once and for all finish this Agent Black and save our family business."

Volkhoff was sitting in his chair rocking back and forth, contemplating what his daughter was telling him. Agent Black had taken everything from him. He no longer had anything left except for the palace and a small facility on the outskirts of Russia. He knew his daughter would do anything for him; she was the love of his life. He was so proud of her for what she had done. She had kept him safe and for that, he would be eternally grateful. Her and her mother both had protected him.

Mary looked to Sarah as the ruse continued. "Alexi my love let us go do this for you. Let us bring this Agent Black back to you so you can do with him as you please."

Volkhoff looked at his wife, "If you think it will help, I will permit you to go."

Mary could not believe how far gone Volkhoff was. His reality had snapped two months ago when a majority of his facilities had finally gone under. It was the last straw. He thought he was married to her and that they had a daughter, Sarah. It had provided the freedom they needed to quickly destroy Volkhoff Industries from within. That had been their mission and now it was quite successful with the combined effort of this Agent Black character. There was just one major player left and of course no one knew who it was. Until they found this player and captured him, there was still a chance Volkhoff industries could regroup. They had to complete the mission and then they would be free.

**. . .**

Sarah had retired to her room, thankful that Volkhoff had finally given her full reign to find this Agent Black. Of course she had already been searching for him for the last two months, but now with the somewhat limited resources of Volkhoff industries, she might actually find him.

She had just got out of the shower. Something about being in the same room as Volkhoff always made her want to shower to get the grime off. Tonight was no different. She was towel drying her hair when she froze at the entrance to the bathroom. Something was not right. She reached for her gun as she heard a familiar swoosh sound. Then the effects of the tranq dart set in as she collapsed to the floor.

**. . .**

She awoke close to a half hour later. At first she could not move, but then realized it was because she was securely tied to her chair. Her back was to the room as her front was facing out the window. She tried to move her head but it was secured in place and she had tape over her mouth.

She became frantic. There was no way anyone could break the perimeter of the Palace so this means it was one of Volkhoff's men. Which also means she was in big trouble. She had to find a way out. She noticed she was dressed in her purple night gown but then a sick feeling hit her on how she got that way.

"There is no point in struggling Agent Walker."

Sarah froze at the sound of that voice.

"Now _Ms._ Walker, I am concerned with the fact you are so determined in your efforts to find me."

Sarah noticed the emphasis on Ms.

"I would hate for something bad to happen to you so I am going to ask you to back off. Am I clear?" Agent Black grabbed her head securely in his hands as he was right next to her face. "I said, am I clear?"

Sarah tried to say something but the tape over her mouth kept her from speaking.

"Agent Walker, I am going to remove that tape from your mouth. But if you try to scream or give any kind of signal. Then I am going to make this really uncomfortable for you. Do we have a deal?"

Sarah nodded.

"This might hurt a bit."

Sarah yelped as the tape was rather forcefully ripped from her mouth. "Son of a …"

"Now, now Ms. Walker, no need to use that kind of language."

"I swear to god if you call me _Ms. _anything again I will kill you."

Agent Black felt a pain in his heart. "What should I call you then, _Mrs_. Volkhoff?" Agent Black had venom in his response.

"You can call me _Mrs_. Bartowski dip shit."

Okay that was not exactly the response he was expecting.

Sarah could tell he was fidgeting. She knew she had him. "So, did you like what you saw when you dressed me?"

Agent Black, "Please don't change the subject. Now I want…"

"What is a matter, do you not find me attractive?"

"Of course I do but..." Crap she was good, he had to get control. He cleared his throat, "I need you to tell me who this remaining person of interest is in Volkhoff's inner circle."

"I am not answering any more questions until I can see your face."

"Absolutely not." Replied Agent Black.

"Look, the least you can do is show me your face, I mean you did get to see a lot more of me then just my face."

"Oh my gosh you are so stubborn. Fine." Agent Black turned Sarah's chair, stepping back immediately.

The lighting in the room was a little dim but Sarah could make out the features. Agent black was a tall man with long black hair just past his shoulders. He was definitely built with a strong chest and large biceps. He was an extremely attractive man but his face definitely had shown some wear and tear.

"Let me see your eyes."

"No." Agent Black was having a hard enough time standing under the menacing glare of Agent Walker.

"Look at me, Now!" Sarah demanded.

Months of unspeakable acts of horror, more blood shed then a small war, nothing could harden him enough to keep him from obeying the love of his life. He stepped forward, leaning just a little so that she could clearly see his eyes.

"Chuck." Sarah immediately began to cry. Her baby was right in front of her and he looked so sad.

"Chuck is dead."

"No he is not. I don't care what you think. My Chuck is still in there." Sarah was pleading with her eyes. "Please let me hold you Chuck. I need you honey."

Agent Black just shook his head. "I am sorry Ms. Walker, but Chuck Bartowski died the minute you left him alone on the cold floor of the Trident building. I am all that is left."

Sarah knew that this was not the time or place. To have this conversation while she was tied up would be useless and it was obvious Chuck was not going to listen to reason… yet. "Okay Agent Black. This is what I know…"

**. . .**

Agent Black was satisfied and he knew the end was close. It was time to go. "I am leaving but if you follow me, it will not be pleasant. So I will ask you nicely to please stay away from me and my team. It will be safer for everyone."

Sarah just needed something, something to hold on to. "Can I ask you one last thing Agent Black?"

Agent Black sighed, "What is it?" Agent Black was preparing the tranq gun.

"Why did you choose the Purple nightie?"

"Well I didn't see the blue one you wore the other day so I picked this one."

She had him. The blue one was actually being washed. "You like blue one?"

"Well I like them all… Damn it Sarah, that's not funny."

Sarah was smiling from ear to ear. "Chuck just please untie me so I can hold you. Please."

Chuck began pacing back and forth. "Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. This was supposed to be an easy op, in and out."

"Well Chuck, if you insist." Sarah was giving him the look.

Chuck stopped mid stride as he looked at Sarah. Oh my gosh she is so beautiful. He shook his head as if that would help clear his mind. "Please stop it Sarah. I can't blow this."

"Why Chuck, isn't that my job?"

Chuck shot both hands to the side of the face. It's been way to long.

"Chuck just please untie me." Sarah wanted him so bad right now. "Well actually, you could leave me tied if that is what you want."

Chuck could not take it any more. He slammed both hands down on the arm rests of the chair. He was bent over leaning towards Sarah. "That's enough Sarah."

Sarah, caught a glimpse at something down his shirt. "Chuck, what is that necklace you are wearing?"

Chuck instantly stood up and clutched the ring. This was not the time or place. "I'm sorry Sarah." He then administered the dart.

As Sarah was loosing consciousness she couldn't help but smile as she caught a glimpse of what was around his neck. I haven't lost him was her last thought as she passed out.

**{* * *}**

It was almost sunrise. Lazlo finally heard Agent Black sneak back into his room, so he decided now was the time to confront him. The minute he opened the door he had a gun pointed at his head. Lazlo pointed towards the roof of the hotel and then signed five minutes.

_{Five Minutes Later}_

"So what is the problem Lazlo?" Chuck was tired and cranky. His Interrogation with Sarah did not go exactly like he would have liked. Then he accidentally got stuck under her while laying her down in bed. It took him a few hours to unwrap her from his arms. Or at least that is what he told himself.

"I think Shaw is going to try to kill you tomorrow or the next day." Lazlo was very concerned.

Chuck laughed, "Tell me something I don't know."

"Look Chuck, while some on this team don't appreciate what you have done, I on the other hand do. You have given me purpose and gotten me out of that bunker. I will never be able to thank you enough. But I wanted to at least warn you okay."

Chuck put a calming hand on Lazlo. "Don't worry buddy, I am one step ahead."

**{* * *}**

The next morning came too soon and Shaw and Chuck had already made it to the small Volkhoff facility at the edge of town. The closest building was a half mile away and other then that, there was no one around.

The op went relatively quiet. Most of the employees had already surrendered before they even began their assault. The clean up crew who actually learned to be quite adept, was there within minutes. Shaw and he were doing a last minute sweep of the building. Chuck had already uploaded all the data to Lazlo for processing.

They were just about finished when Shaw signaled that he found something in one of the offices near the top floor. Chuck cautiously walked in and sure enough, stood face to face with Shaw's gun. Chuck had to squint just a little as the sun was pouring in from the window behind Shaw. He cautiously angled himself away from Shaw.

"You know Shaw, you could have just walked right out of here. Left and took your chance with that thing in your head."

"Shut up idiot. You have controlled me long enough. I don't need the Governor anymore."

"Oh you figured out the safeguards I put in were just fake huh?"

"WHAT?" Shaw was beside himself.

"Ohh, I guess not. Yeah sorry about that, just needed to make sure you were a good little soldier."

Shaw's gun started shaking as the rage filled him. It was going to end soon.

Chuck was looking just beyond Shaw towards the window. Once again he took a small step so that he was more angled in front of Shaw.

Shaw was shaking with rage as he stared at the smug look on Chuck's face. "When you told me about this mission. I knew you would never be able to make the hard choices. I mean you surprised me on all that you did do, but the real tough choices you still couldn't bring your self to do it could you? But that's fine, I enjoyed the sport in it all and once again, I get to be a real American Hero."

"Are you sure you want to do this Shaw? I mean you know me, I can be very forgiving."

Shaw spit at him. "Not this time Bartowski. I am going to finish you off second, then I am going to go after your blond whore, or brunette now, and then Colonel meat head."

Chuck did a double take. "Wait a minute. You said second, what do you mean?"

Shaw smiled. "Well lets just say Lazlo is going out with a bang."

Chuck initiated his comm. "Lazlo are you there, talk to me buddy."

Nothing but static.

"Oh boo hoo. Po little geek is gone." Shaw then became even more maddened as he looked at Chuck one last time. "You know what your weakness is Chuck. You have too many friends." Shaw cocked his gun, feeling the weight of the trigger beneath his fingers.

"You know Shaw. Its funny you say that. Where you think of it as a weakness, I have come to realize it is a strength. I mean after all, one of my best friends happens to be a Colonel in the United States Marine Core and a dedicated member of the NSA." Chuck was smiling now. "But the funny thing is. That is not what makes him so special to me right now. You see the thing that I love most right now about Colonel John Casey is he is one of only three men that could make a kill shot at the half mile mark."

Shaw was just shaking his head as he prepared to fire. "What does that have to do with …" He never completed his sentence as his head was blown apart.

"Jeez Casey did you have to use the tank killers. I will be washing this crap out of my clothes for weeks."

**. . .**

Back at the tenth floor of the high rise close to a half mile away, Casey is patting his smoking sniper rifle. "That a girl." Casey then looked out the window, staring off into the distance. "Told you numb nuts. I always keep my promise." He saluted as he packed up to go back to meet his team.

**{* * *}**

**

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**

Sarah was still coming down from her high of seeing Chuck yesterday. He was still so sweet as she woke up wrapped in her covers on her bed. She never slept on the bed and she knew the effects of the darts would not have lasted as long as they did. She smiled as she knew Chuck must have lain with her for a while, that would have been the only way she could have slept so comfortably for so long. She could almost feel his arms still around her. Oh yeah he looked different and she could tell from his eyes that he had seen some horrible things. But none of that mattered to her. She just wanted him no matter what. She wanted to always go to sleep and wake up in those arms. She no longer cared about her stupid thirty minutes of personal space when she went to bed. Her personal space would now always include Chuck.

She was getting ready when the palace alarms started going off. Oh this might be good she thought as she finished getting ready and ran out to see what the problem was.

She stopped one of the guards. "What is going on?"

The Guard was scared to death standing in front of the Enforcer. "Uh, Volkhoff has been kidnapped."

A smile spread across Sarah's face. Its time she thought as she pulled out her knife. "I need you to do something for me okay?"

"Yes ma'am, what is it?" The guard was about to wet his pants. Sure he had been the one to push her around a bit when she first got here, but lately he had been very strict about obeying Volkhoff's orders.

Sarah put her arm around the guard. "I need you to die!" And with that she shoved the blade deep into the mans heart.

Just as the guard had fallen dead, Mary came around the corner. She smiled at the guard. "Its time isn't it?"

Sarah just shook her head as the two started a complete sweep of the palace, taking no prisoners and collecting every single bit of information they could find."

**{* * *}**

* * *

Volkhoff was staring to come to. He instantly noticed he was in a wood cabin, but miraculously, he was not bound. He was just sitting in a chair. The light was dim so he had a hard time making out shapes. He knew he was not alone, and then as if to answer his thoughts, the light came on and he was staring into the face of Charles Irving Bartowski. Well that and the gun pointed directly at his head.

Chuck had cut his hair, not all the way though, after Shaw had been terminated and changed his coloring back to brown. He had also made sure that Lazlo had safely "disappeared" which he did. They would not be putting him in a bunker any time soon. So Chuck decided it was time to face his demons. It was time to become the man who started this journey through hell over eight months ago in the hospital room of his best friend and partner, John Casey.

"So Alexi. Long time huh?" Chuck was toying with him as he waved the gun back and forth.

"Oh Charles it is so good to see you. You know my daughter has been so anxious to see you. She has missed you."

Chuck was not amused. "Sorry, Alexi, but you have gone off the deep end bud. You do know Sarah is not your daughter."

Chuck never saw what was coming as Alexi grabbed his gun and knocked him onto the floor. "Of course I know that stupid. I was hoping she would use it to bring you to me but the stupid girl could never find you. But of course here we are now Chuck. Or should I say, Agent Black?"

Chuck could see that Alexi had the upper edge and he was now not even close to being crazy. He was dead serious.

"So when did you figure it out?"

"Well it wasn't hard. All I had to do was figure out who could have been that motivated to do what you did. I have to say Charles, I am most impressed. I lost everything because of you but I guess that is just fitting isn't it. I mean I took everything from you so I guess we are even."

"Not quite douche bag." Chuck quickly jumped to his feet punching Volkhoff in the mouth and grabbing his gun at that same time. Now it was Chuck who had the advantage as his gun was pointed right between Volkhoff's eyes.

"Its time to end this you dirt bag."

"Charles, Charles, Charles. We know you don't have the balls to kill me. You have never been one to make good on a threat."

Chuck had a smirk on his face as he felt the trigger begging him to just pull it. "You know your wrong Alexi. I could kill you right now. I am not that pathetic weakling you met over a year ago."

"THEN DO IT DAMN IT! Be a man Charles, stop acting like a little baby."

Chuck knew if he did this it would be over. All the pain and all the suffering would finally come to an end. Just one bullet between the eyes would ease all the pain from the past twenty years. Just one pull of the trigger, its not like he has never done it before, ask Shaw. Chuck paused in thought as he heard what sounded like a car coming towards the cabin. Wow that car sounds very familiar.

"What's a matter Charles? Are you scared? Must be those abandonment issues you have always struggled with huh? I mean first your mom, then your dad, and now your girlfriend. I mean you must be really a pathetic mess."

Chuck heard a click at the door. "I may be pathetic, but I bet my mom could kick your mom's ass." Then he ducked.

"Hey Alexi. Bye Alexi" Mary shot Volkhoff right between the eyes. "Out Charles, now."

Chuck looked confused but he knew to listen to his mom as he hurried out the front door. He heard the shots continue to fire as the words, "That is for my husband." bang. "That is for my daughter." Another bang. It kept going as Chuck walked towards his car parked just beyond the wooded area.

As he approached his car, he once again felt the nuzzle of a gun pointed at his skull. "You have got to be kidding me." He dejectedly said as he stood with his hands up.

"So you had to tranq your Fiancée? Really?"

Chuck lowered his hands as he turned to see Sarah. She was still in her black hair and black leather outfit. It really made him uncomfortable.

She gave him a smile as she holstered her gun, but it was not returned.

He sighed. "Sarah I can't do this right now okay? This is not the time or place. I need some space to figure things out."

"Just shut up Chuck."

"Excuse me Sarah? That was a little harsh don't you think?" Chuck tried to back up as Sarah approached him. "Sarah just listen to me. I am not who you remember, I am not Chuck anymore."

"I said shut your mouth, Chuck." She continued to approach him until he was backed up to his car. He could not move anywhere else.

"Sarah you need to know what I have done. The things I have been a part of. You will never understand the things I have ordered…"

He never finished as Sarah attacked his mouth. He tried to fight her off at first but damn it she was strong and persistent. Her tongue was gaining access and he really had no defense. They kissed like this for what felt like hours. Their hands exploring each other as if everything was new, which in reality it was.

Chuck finally needed air. "Sarah, I can't do this. Please, this is not fair to you."

"Chuck, so help me God, if the next thing out of your mouth has anything to do with how you changed or how many people you killed, I will take one of those tranq darts, shove it in your ass, strip you down, and then ravage you in the back seat of that car. Am I clear?"

Chuck shook his head trying to clear any confusion as to what he had just heard. "But Sarah how can you say that? Remember how you felt when you thought I shot the mole on my red test?"

I swear to God I want to slap him. "Chuck how can you be so incredibly stupid?"

"Well its true isn't it?"

"Chuck, my God you are such a moron. Are you really going to base our current relationship on that one event, before we were dating mind you? You know the one where before I even knew you didn't shoot the mole I was going to run off with you anyway. My gosh Chuck, how could you think that it would matter to me now."

"But Sarah…"

"But, but, but, but what Chuck. Chuck I need to calm down because you have me so angry right now." Sarah still would not leave his face.

"See, I knew you would be angry."

"Where's my gun?" Sarah looked around.

Chuck was freaking out a bit.

"Chuck I am going to need you to pay really close attention here because obviously you don't have a clue. Okay we are going to take a little journey back in time okay. Yeah, I want you to remember the first time we made love."

"Well that was obvious; it was in the Hotel room in Paris."

"Okay, next question. Did I enjoy that moment when we made love for the first time?"

Chuck swallowed hard. "Well you sure seemed to; even the guests down the hall seemed to agree."

Sarah grabbed his mouth. "So, the best sex I ever had was that night, with the only man I had ever truly loved and guess what happened just hours before that?"

"I killed Shaw."

"Bingo. So let me ask you Chuck, WHY THE HELL WOULD I CARE NOW WHO YOU KILLED?" Sarah was trying to control her anger. Deep breaths, deep breaths. "Chuck did you kill little kids?"

"Well of course not Sarah."

"How about innocent men and woman. No you know what, don't even answer that. I don't give a flip. If you did, we would just run away together, _again_, anyway. I DON'T CARE! I love you Chuck, why can't you understand that?" Sarah turned her ear to make sure she could hear Chuck.

Chuck did not respond.

"Chuck, I said I love you. Did you not hear me?"

"Gosh dangit Sarah. I have been pissed beyond recognition for the past eight months and you think you can just come right back into my life and pick up where we left off like nothing happened?"

She was moving seductively against him. There was only one thing that he could not defend against and luckily she had not done then yet.

"It is what people in love do Chuck. It's called forgiveness. Just like I forgive you for sending that horrible message to me."

And then she did the unthinkable as if she had read his mind. She took off her black wig and her beautiful blond hair flowed effortlessly over her shoulders. She shook her head a bit and ran her fingers through her hair to get it just right, but here she was. His Sarah now stood in front of him.

He sighed as he leaned his head against hers. "I do love you Sarah."

"I know sweetie. I just wanted to hear it. And by the way, don't think I forgot about the necklace.

**. . .**

Chuck did not notice the lone figure standing off in the distance next to his Crown Vic. Cigar in hand, Casey stood looking over at his two partners. His sub mission was working like a charm. It was close for a second, but he was able to find Sarah and Mary just in time to bring them to the cabin. Sure he wanted to use Gertrude, his grenade launcher, on Volkhoff, but he thought Mary deserved the opportunity more then he did.

The smile on his face was undeniable. He honored the request from his friend, his partner, his brother. Semper Fidellis through and through. He turned to get in his car, he still needed to get Alex and Morgan so they could get out of this God forsaken country. He paused though as the video played over in his mind. The video of that first night he lay in the hospital, barely holding on. The next words had never been spoken and would never be again. "Love you too Chuck! Love you too."

* * *

**A/N: Last full Chapter tomorrow then an Epilogue. Can't wait till Monday.**


	5. Chapter 5 The Choice

**A/N: First I wanted to apologize to Billatwork for taking a title from one of his stories. It was brought to my attention that he had a story with the same name. Bill is a legend, at least for me and if you want to read some great, and I mean great stories, go check him out. I guess subconsciously I must have taken the title without even realizing it considering I have read everything of his. My apologies, that was not my intent.**

**Monday is almost here, yeah. Hey, you know I have been thinking. Considering everyone is saying this is the greatest last ten minutes of Chuck ever, what are your thoughts on what that might entail? Personally, the greatest endings were "Guys, I know Kung Fu" (First time), Phase III (Although it was not the very ending) and Reboot (Ring II). It would be tough to top that. A lot of people are saying proposal but considering vs. Balcony, is that really going to be best ever? Same with the Baby being born. My hope, and this is only based on my belief, is that somehow Pappa B. will be back and play a part some how. I know it is almost impossible, but it is Chuck after all.**

**This will be the last full chapter and then a epilogue. Hope the story has been able to tide you over. It has been my honor to take you along on this journey. I appreciate the reviews, comments, pm's everything.**

**This takes place at the end of vs. Gobbler and I don't own Chuck.**

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**Chapter 5 - The Choice**

Chuck, Sarah, Casey, Mary, Morgan, and Alex were in Castle, preparing to conference in with Beckman.

"Team, I am pleased to announce that Volkhoff Industries is no more. Thanks to you, Volkhoff is no longer a threat to the United States, or anyone for that matter. Great Job Agent Black."

Everyone turned to Chuck. Sarah who was right by his side squeezed his hand which she had not been able to let go of since leaving Russia. "General ma'am. From now on, it is Chuck Bartowski okay?" Chuck looked at Sarah as she nodded in approval.

"Very well Chuck Bartowski. Excellent work. Now just had some questions. I am a little fuzzy on the details of Daniel Shaw and Lazlo."

Oh crap. Chuck had not exactly gone over these details with Sarah. He felt her tense. "Well, ma'am, Lazlo was killed when Shaw set up a bomb in his apartment." Okay, this was a slight lie. Chuck had already warned Lazlo and he had left long before the bomb went off. He had received contact from Lazlo the day after and found that he was living on a small Island off the coast of Hawaii. Apparently he had come in to quite a bit of money.

"And Daniel Shaw?" General questioned with hatred in her voice.

"As for Shaw, well he just completely lost his head."

Casey grunted in approval. But Sarah was still looking at him. "You have some explaining to do mister."

"Well I guess it worked out in the end. As for the lone remaining member of Volkhoff's inner circle. Through the data that you and agent Walker have provided, we found out that it is Volkhoff's twenty year old daughter. We believe that she has no clue who her father is so we will be monitoring her closely. Once again, good work team."

The team said their goodbyes and everyone was heading over to see Ellie and the baby.

Chuck told Sarah he wanted to talk to Casey for a bit. She agreed to wait for him in one of the side rooms.

Casey and Chuck were the only ones in the conference area. There was an uncomfortable silence as partners stood looking at the floor.

Chuck finally got the courage to speak first. "I want to thank you for everything."

"Just doing my job Bartowski." Casey still would not look up.

"Yeah, well it still meant a lot to me. Just wanted to let you know okay."

"Sure thing."

That seemed to be the extent of the conversation as Chuck started to go get Sarah and Casey was heading up the stairs.

"Bartowski. I do have a question for you."

Chuck paused and turns to look at Casey who was now looking him in the eyes.

"What is the deal with the tattoo on your knuckles? What does WWCD mean?"

Chuck had to control his emotions. He took a deep breath. "Well John, when I started out on this journey, I thought I would loose myself forever to the darkness. I had Sarah's ring on a necklace that I wore for comfort. I knew if I had that reminder near my heart, maybe I would not completely succumb to the darkness." Chuck swallowed hard as the next part was causing his emotions to build. "Where the ring helped control my heart, I needed something that would keep me from loosing my soul. I knew it would be rough, I knew I would have to make decisions that I would have a hard time living with. But I also knew, that no matter what darkness I faced, as long as I had this." Chuck held up his fist with the letters.

"As long as I had this, I would never loose my soul." Chuck could see the questioning in Casey's eyes.

"So what do they mean?"

"**W**hat **W**ould **C**asey **D**o? Remembering those words and knowing as long as I did not go beyond that, I could live with myself. I could live with myself knowing that I could be a man as great as you."

Casey stood for a moment his body completely rigid. Then he quickly ran up the stairs complaining about his allergies as he hurried through the door.

**. . .**

Sarah had rejoined Chuck knowing that Casey was now gone.

"Chuck, why did you do it?"

"You mean Shaw or the whole death and destruction thing?"

"I mean everything Chuck. Why?"

Chuck asked her to sit down. Apparently the chair across from him was not good enough as she sat right in his lap.

"Sarah look. I know you loved me." Chuck was interrupted by Sarah's squeeze. "Okay, I know you _love_ me. That was never a doubt. But Sarah when you left me, it just tore me up. I know you were doing it for me, I know you were doing it for our future, but Sarah I needed you with me. I mean I was seconds from proposing to you and then you are gone."

Sarah kissed him on the cheek. She could see the emotion in his eyes.

"Sarah my mom left me when I was a kid, my dad abandoned us, all in the name of Love. Then you, the love of my life leaves and once again it is because of love. What is the use of loving someone if they are never there? I mean while it was noble, you said you were not coming back without my mom. Well what if that would have taken another twenty years? I just can't take the thought of waking up one day and you are gone again. I was tired of being the whiney lovesick useless nerd that always had to rely on someone else. I decided to take matters into my own hands. Where I was headed, I needed someone that would offset my conscious, someone without thought, without feeling. That is why I chose Shaw. I hated it, but for me, the benefits out weighed the risks, and so I used him for what I needed."

Chuck did not like admitting this, but he thought Sarah had a right to know. "I was just sick of always being the one left behind. My entire life was one "Stay in the Car" and it is never going to happen again. I don't want to need anyone ever again.."

"Chuck are you saying you don't want to be with me?" Sarah turned his face so that she could look in his eyes.

"Sarah I don't think I can. I just can't take the heartache any more. Do you know what I go through wondering if I will ever see you again? It's great that you, just like my mom, can go off and do something for the greater good, but did it ever dawn on you that maybe sometimes just being with someone is enough to protect them?"

"Chuck you know I would do anything for you?"

"And there in lies the problem Sarah. I don't want that. All I want is for you to love me enough to stay with me. To every morning wake up together and brush our teeth tandem style. To go to bed cuddled in each others arms. To kiss every time we see each other, hold hands as we walk down the beach. That is what I want Sarah. I am tired of being protected; I just want to be cared for. I want you to care for me and I want the opportunity to care for you."

Sarah was struggling with this. She never thought a relationship could go bad because two people loved each other to much. But isn't that exactly what Chuck is saying?

"Sarah there is something that can fix all this though." Chuck motioned her to stand. He went and retrieved his father's laptop.

"Chuck what are you doing?"

Chuck motioned her to sit on the table in front of him while he opened the laptop next to her. "Before I started this journey through hell, I placed a marker in my brain, sort of a memory marker. I did this through the Intersect update. In theory, I just need to run the Intersect Update again and it should reverse all my memories back to the point of the marker."

Sarah had a look like Chuck was out of his mind.

"I know it sounds crazy but Ellie was actually the first to find it. Her scans and the research she did properly marked out the Intersects affect on the brain. It was almost like a blue print. I realized if the mapping could be controlled, then there was an opportunity that the Intersect could be used to erase memory. Of course the software confiscated from the Belgium when they tried to erase my memory also helped, but I have come up with a way to erase my memory to that point almost eight months ago."

"So are you saying that once you receive this special update; that you will be back to the same old Chuck? All the pain and suffering you went through this past year will be forgotten?"

"Yep. It will be like it never happened. I will remember the incident with Casey, but this time you will be here to talk to me and comfort me."

"So how does this work?"

"You just need to hit the enter button." Chuck pointed to the button.

"Why are you not doing it Chuck?" Sarah was conflicted.

"Because I want this to be your decision. I will live with it either way. I just want you to be happy."

"So if I hit the enter button, you forget the past eight months. What if I don't?" Sarah could not look at him.

"Then you just hit this button, the escape key, and then it removes the marker and I will never be able to go back."

Sarah reached her hand to his face. "What do you want Chuck? I just want what you want."

"Sarah, it is not that big of a deal. It has to be your choice."

"Chuck, let us decide after we see Ellie and the baby okay. It will give me more time to think."

Chuck sighed. "Okay, I will bring the laptop home with us and then tonight we will do this."

**{* * *}**

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Chuck was sitting on the corner of the fountain. Wow does this bring back a lot of memories he thought. Some good, some not so good.

He looked up at the night sky. He smiled thinking of his niece. He did not hold her although Ellie sure had tried. He just did not feel comfortable doing that yet. But what surprised him was just how natural Sarah looked holding the baby. She actually looked... happy. How could that be he thought. Last thing he remembered Sarah was scared to death to even think of being around kids. But now, she looked so natural.

His thoughts were interrupted as Sarah approached him.

"Mind of I sit down next to you Chuck?"

Chuck scooted a bit so Sarah could have a comfortable seat. She sat as close as she could to him, reveling in the familiarity of how many times they had done this before.

She linked her arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Chuck couldn't help but love the way Sarah was acting since he tied her up in her room not so long ago. She was much more outgoing in her feelings for him, definitely showing much more PDA. It almost felt like the harder he tried to push her away, the harder she tried to get closer. He had to admit, it was a nice feeling for once.

"Chuck, why wouldn't you hold the baby?" Sarah put as much warmth in the question as she could.

Chuck just brought his hands out in front of him as if he was showing her something on them. "These hands are to dirty right now to hold something so pure."

Sarah jokingly punched him. "Are you saying I'm not pure? Those hands seemed to be holding a lot of things on the plane ride home, in the back seat of the car, in the supply closet at Castle, at…"

Okay, okay, I get it Sarah." He just shook his head. "How did you get so funny any way?"

"I am in love with a Nerd." She said as matter of fact.

He truly did love this woman no matter what his brain was trying to tell him.

Sarah slowly unlocked her arm from his as she stood up. "Chuck, I need you to not freak out okay?" Sarah then moved in front of him and kneeled down, holding his hands in hers.

Chuck was getting really nervous. "Sarah, what… what are you doing?"

"Chuck, I am not waiting any longer. This is the moment, this is the place, this is where it is going to happen."

"Sarah…"

"Chuck, I have never loved anything the way I love you. I can't even put into words what you mean to me. I just know I can't be without you." Sarah would not cry during this because she had to finish it. "Chuck, I love you so much that my life means nothing without you. My only concern was your protection. My vision of happiness was a future where we could be free. Free to live as husband and wife, free to raise our children, free to live without the daily threat to our lives. In wanting so bad for my vision to come true, I would do anything to make it happen. I was so blinded that I did not realize what the cost was to us."

Now Sarah could not control her emotions as the tears started. "Then I read your message and it broke my heart. I was sad, mad, lonely, angry, every emotion coursed through my body. Then I got it. I realized what you meant even though you were ignorant in the way you said it."

"Sarah, we have been…"

"Let me finish Chuck." Sarah took a deep breath. "I promise you Chuck that I will never ever leave you again. I promise you that nothing will be more important than us being together. I promise you that any mission we have, we do it together or it doesn't happen. I promise to care for you every second of every day. I promise to hold your hand whenever we can, kiss you whenever possible, and make love to you whenever you want." Sarah could see Chuck shift. "Yeah I thought you might like that last one. But Chuck, more then anything, I promise to always be by your side."

Sarah lifted Chuck's face in her hands so that he could look into her eyes. "I promise to care for you Chuck."

Chuck was so conflicted right now. He knew what Sarah wanted, but he did not know if he was ready.

"Chuck I know you are having second thoughts. So I am going to make this really easy for you." Sarah could not control her emotions as the tears were flowing even harder now. "Charles Irving Bartowski, will you finally please marry me and let me keep my promises to you?"

When it came down to it. There really never was anything to think about. Sure Chuck knew he could have wallowed in misery and prolonged this for another few weeks. Trying to decide what was right, what made sense. But in the end, he was tired of always waiting. He was tired of keeping true happiness at arms length. The absolute greatest human being on the planet was asking him to marry her, was he really that stupid to say no. "If you truly truly want this. I would be honored to be your husband."

Sarah almost punched him just because she felt like it. Even now he still lacked confidence that she loved him. That is fine though she thought, she had a lifetime to show him. So instead of punching his lights out, she kissed him deeply.

"Almost forgot." Chuck reached into his shirt as he pulled out the ring and placed it on Sarah's trembling hand.

"Its about time Chuck."

**{* * *}**

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Sarah sat at the edge of the bed as Chuck arranged the laptop on his desk. She saw him pause. "You okay Chuck?"

"Yeah, just remembering the first time I did this when Bryce sent me the email." Chuck had everything set up.

"So if we do this, you forget everything that just happened?" Sarah did not want this.

"Well, yeah. But I also forget the past eight months."

"Is that what would make you happy Chuck?"

"Sarah I told you, this is not about me. I mean it is, but I need you to make the decision."

Sarah still did not completely understand, but then it hit her. "Are you ready Chuck?"

Chuck sat back comfortably in his chair. "Yes. And remember not to look at the screen once you hit enter."

Sarah was ready. "Don't ever forget I love you Chuck." And then she pressed the button.

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**A/N: The epilogue will be posted tomorrow and woot woot, time for some Chuck.**


	6. Chapter 6 Epilogue

**A/N: This is it. Hope you enjoyed my little rant/vent. **

**Tonight is the night. Spread the word, Chuck will be epic.**

**This takes place at the end of vs. Gobbler and I don't own Chuck.**

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**Chapter 6 – Epilogue**

**{Two years later}**

Chuck woke up in a sweat. It was another bad dream. He was trying to steady his breathing as he sat alone in the darkness. He was sweating and shaking almost uncontrollably. This was no different then the other times. The nightmares were always horrible.

Chuck sat up in bed and looked to the door which was slightly ajar. He looked back at his hands as it felt like they were still covered in blood. Gosh he wished she was here right now. It had seemed like it was forever since he had last seen her. He missed her beautiful sapphire eyes. He missed running his hands through her long, flowing, golden hair. He missed the taste of her lips. He tried to massage his temples as he realized if he hadn't made the decision he had, she would be with him right now.

What seemed like an eternity but was just mere seconds had passed, Chuck heard a noise coming from the hall. He tensed as he knew this was it. He closed his eyes in silent prayer, just wishing he had made a different decision.

It was at that moment Sarah came into the room. She nearly dropped the tray of breakfast she was carrying as she could tell that Chuck had another bad dream. She instantly was in bed holding him.

"Oh baby I am so sorry I was not here for you." She held him tightly.

Everything disappeared in the arms of his wife. "It's okay Sarah; I knew you were probably pretty busy. After all, it was my decision to make breakfast all last week and for you to take this week. I guess not exactly the best decision huh?" Chuck looked over at the tray of burnt toast and soggy pancakes. He loved Sarah, but cooking was not her strong suit. Just one more bad decision on his part to have her make breakfast this morning. He smiled, laughing to himself.

Sarah could see him smirking and she jokingly punched him in the arm. "Are you smirking at me Charles?"

"I would never sweetheart." Chuck gave the puppy dog eyes.

"Not fair Bartowski, not fair." Sarah could not help but kiss him. "Seriously though Chuck, are you okay?"

Chuck became sullen as he thought of his dream, "Yeah, I just hate waking up with you not here."

Sarah was now rubbing his head, still holding him close to her. "Chuck I will always be here but you know my current responsibilities sometimes require me to be away."

Chuck sighed, "I know, and I hope you know you are not alone in your job. I try to do all I can to help you through it."

Sarah kissed his forehead. "I know you do sweetie and I really do appreciate it. I couldn't make it through without your support."

Chuck looked into her eyes. "Do you still have to finish your mission this morning?" Chuck was worried about her response.

"Yes Chuck. I just wanted to get you breakfast before I had to go. But I only need to go for a bit and once I am finished with the mission, I will be right back I promise." She hugged him even tighter making sure he knew everything would be okay.

"Sarah?"

Sarah knew from the tenseness in his voice that this was going to be serious.

"Why didn't you hit the enter key. Why not make me forget? I mean look at the hell you have had to go through helping me through this. It would have been so much easier on you if you just hit the enter key."

Sarah straddled Chuck, bringing her legs around him securely. She was not trying to turn him on although she had a strange feeling that was already happening. No she wanted him to be able to look at her and feel her love for him. "Chuck, you are right. It would have been so much easier to just have you forget. A part of me hates that you have to go through these nightmares. I am thankful that you are doing much better but I still don't want you to suffer."

Chuck could tell Sarah was getting very emotional.

"But Chuck, I did not marry you because I wanted the easy way out. I wanted to show you just how much I cared. Yes I know you knew I loved you, but I wanted to show you that I would always be there for you, to really care for you. It is the cost of Love Chuck."

Chuck took her head in his hands. "I love you so much Mrs. Bartowski."

"I love you too Mr. Bartowski." Now before things got out of hand, Sarah had to head off for her mission. "I have to go baby, but I will be back as soon as I can."

"Are you sure you don't need me to come along? I still can be a big help you know." Chuck felt slightly unneeded at this point.

"Just let me do this one okay, then you can help the next time." And before he could object she was out the bedroom door.

Chuck crawled back in bed. He felt the emptiness without Sarah with him. He felt incomplete.

It was only ten minutes later when he heard Sarah approaching.

"Chuck? Someone wants to see you." Sarah was almost to the door.

Chuck just smiled as this was one of his favorite parts of the day. Sarah stood in the room now, and she never looked more beautiful then she did right now. "I see you have already finished your mission."

"Well, it is my day after all. Tomorrow it will be your mission to change the diapers." Sarah stood there with Chuck jr. on one hip and Kayla on the other. "So which one do you want? They both have been begging to see their daddy."

"I want them both" Chuck just smiled as he took Kayla and helped Sarah and Chuck Jr. in to bed. He almost started crying as he held his one year old twins securely in his arms.

"Daddy" they both yelled.

Sarah curled up in front of him as both their babies played between them. Each trying to fight for the chance to crawl on their Dad. Chuck of course was playing it to the hilt. She loved watching her husband with their children. It kept the nightmares away, for her and him both. She reached over to move a curl away form his forehead.

"No regrets Chuck. I love you." She made sure to reaffirm this everyday. She was never more happy then she was right now. She loved her new mission. Her mission now was to take care of Chuck and their children. After all, it was the cost of love, and she was willing to pay it in full.


End file.
